Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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