Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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