I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
