How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
