Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize