You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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