I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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