I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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