It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
