You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
