Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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