apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
