guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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