You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize