if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
