The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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