Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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