I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
