i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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