So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize