He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The air was thick with penises
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
