1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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