How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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