She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
