Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
