Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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