I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
