do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize