The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
