Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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