Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
