I bet he comes in French.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
