well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize