I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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