He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
