The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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