Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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