we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
