never play flip cup with pint glasses
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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