I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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