just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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