you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
