I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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