As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
