Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
