I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
