When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize