let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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