Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
