JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
