i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
