If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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