She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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