I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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