So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
