How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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