porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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