i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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