If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize