i just sent this text using only my big toe
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
