U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
