You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
