Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
