Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
