At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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