It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
