I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize