wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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