I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
