HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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