Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
