Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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