woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just want to make out with him forever
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize