help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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