that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
