I'm sorry my penis didn't work
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize