how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
