Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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